i just spent two days receiving amazing advice.
and it made me feel just right.
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Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
09 September 2010
16 July 2010
your friends
today i was wondering what people see when they look at each other.
of course, specifically what people see when they look at me.
and not just the superficial and cliche.
examples
can you really look at a friend and decide you don't care to consider their feelings?
how do people determine what you are?
of course, specifically what people see when they look at me.
and not just the superficial and cliche.
examples
- its come to my attention that i give a vibe that suggests to strangers to leave me along. generally preferable, but it does complicate barroom pick-ups.
- and i get the vibe, that people do not 'see' my emotions. again, maybe a good thing? but it doesn't feel that way when you're hurting and they just.don't.see.
can you really look at a friend and decide you don't care to consider their feelings?
how do people determine what you are?
08 June 2010
being wrong
recently on npr there was a program about our inability to admit our mistakes.
a new book was the motivation for the program: Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error.
i am very intrigued.
there are mistakes that surely i've refused to admit but there have been some very large mistakes that i've made and in the aftermath of that, i'd venture to say that i've since found it very empowering to admit when i am wrong. it somehow changes my perspective and helps me unpack my thoughts. and in the favor of open communication, it seems beneficial to be able to admit your own mistakes.
and there are some mistakes i've made that are honestly funny. or simply absurd. i think its good to be able to share those and take a moment to wonder what the fuck you were thinking.
oh npr i (heart) you.
a new book was the motivation for the program: Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error.
i am very intrigued.
there are mistakes that surely i've refused to admit but there have been some very large mistakes that i've made and in the aftermath of that, i'd venture to say that i've since found it very empowering to admit when i am wrong. it somehow changes my perspective and helps me unpack my thoughts. and in the favor of open communication, it seems beneficial to be able to admit your own mistakes.
and there are some mistakes i've made that are honestly funny. or simply absurd. i think its good to be able to share those and take a moment to wonder what the fuck you were thinking.
oh npr i (heart) you.
21 May 2010
the others
i would contend that i am someone not easily offended and for that reason i am particularly interested in what behaviors in others cross that line.
this year i have come across two: the stingy and the overly-dependent.
its the latter that took me awhile to diagnose, wondering why i couldn't stop bristling at what these people are doing or saying. turns out that i simply do not have patience with people who do not make efforts to achieve their desires—whether that be an amazing career or as simple as another round of drinks.
you can't close your eyes and hope the world does what you want.
and its rude to expect those around you to make it happen for you.
there is a canoe metaphor in there somewhere that i simply do not have the attention span to develop.
needless to say, it was an eye opening discovery with a rainbow of grey muddling around it. it explains a lot, creates a lot and requires a lot from me in the coming months. it is an excellent reminder of the kind of person i want to be and a new way to observe those around me.
this year i have come across two: the stingy and the overly-dependent.
its the latter that took me awhile to diagnose, wondering why i couldn't stop bristling at what these people are doing or saying. turns out that i simply do not have patience with people who do not make efforts to achieve their desires—whether that be an amazing career or as simple as another round of drinks.
you can't close your eyes and hope the world does what you want.
and its rude to expect those around you to make it happen for you.
there is a canoe metaphor in there somewhere that i simply do not have the attention span to develop.
needless to say, it was an eye opening discovery with a rainbow of grey muddling around it. it explains a lot, creates a lot and requires a lot from me in the coming months. it is an excellent reminder of the kind of person i want to be and a new way to observe those around me.
a healthy relationship?
i thought i needed kissing. everyday. sexy, tasty, kisses.
i made it an issue, then i gave it a rest.
and i am realizing that i was using it as a form of reassurance. i wanted daily assurance that this was something that he wanted. that things were going well.
turns out i like them a lot better when as sporadic expressions of joy and affection.
the only assurance i need i can see each day as share our days with each other. we have free will and are making choices every day and i am getting better at remembering that. (gasp) its nice to feel healthy, emotionally.
i made it an issue, then i gave it a rest.
and i am realizing that i was using it as a form of reassurance. i wanted daily assurance that this was something that he wanted. that things were going well.
turns out i like them a lot better when as sporadic expressions of joy and affection.
the only assurance i need i can see each day as share our days with each other. we have free will and are making choices every day and i am getting better at remembering that. (gasp) its nice to feel healthy, emotionally.
10 May 2010
points for originality
with regards to people, labels are rarely accurate.
they represent a laziness and appropriately find themselves unsatisfactory. they become buzz words. buzz words border on vulgarity. empty and ugly.
they have their merits: they serve a lot of bang for your breath and their familiarity lend themselves to social interactions. you can converse at length with someone without having to define your terms allowing each participant their own assumptions and everyone can leave happy—win. its enough to find me guilty of their use but its flimsy to be sure.
this morning i was contemplating one in particular and finding myself rather fed up with it. there has been entirely too much discussion and employment of it. right now even in irony i don't like it. and in my state, to hear people express a desire to emulate such a cliched label, just rubs me the wrong way.
when is it ever fun to subscribe completely to one trend? more importantly, when is that ever original? (definition of trend suggests that it never is.)
they represent a laziness and appropriately find themselves unsatisfactory. they become buzz words. buzz words border on vulgarity. empty and ugly.
they have their merits: they serve a lot of bang for your breath and their familiarity lend themselves to social interactions. you can converse at length with someone without having to define your terms allowing each participant their own assumptions and everyone can leave happy—win. its enough to find me guilty of their use but its flimsy to be sure.
this morning i was contemplating one in particular and finding myself rather fed up with it. there has been entirely too much discussion and employment of it. right now even in irony i don't like it. and in my state, to hear people express a desire to emulate such a cliched label, just rubs me the wrong way.
when is it ever fun to subscribe completely to one trend? more importantly, when is that ever original? (definition of trend suggests that it never is.)