clouds

my cloud book arrived. i'm excited.
spring seems like the perfect time to learn about clouds.

very excited.

third week of march

this weeks little treat was some new music purchase. and if i am a good girl, this weeks drinking expenses were enjoyed on thursday in support of some ballerinas.

i'm going to try to not drink out this weekend, well, on my dime. that would be good.

i want to...

• spend more time alone
• spend more time practicing yoga
• start running
• use my gym membership
• lose twenty pounds
• take a month off of drinking
• work on my house

well, shit.

it hasn't happened

insulation will happen.
treats did happen.

and now i am barely getting by, so everything else is definitely on hold.

need to sort myself out, start actualizing.
i am definitely my own worst enemy. harumpf.

goal/treat

if i lose ten pounds, i'll buy myself one of these.

it needs to happen

tomorrow is march first.
i have a lot of things that i want to do and they require money.

if i look at my finances, it is achievable.
but in my heart, it doesn't feel achievable.

how can i rectify this?

two most important things:
    •    running shoes (85)
    •    insulation (90)
    •    excel courses (90)
    •    a treat for myself (22)

i need to lock down my spending.

28 before 29

1. crochet an infinity scarf
2. sew the minimalist totes
3. infuse a spirit a month
4. write one letter a month
5. run a half marathon
6.  take an exotic vacation
7. visit new york
8. start a canning business
9. write a garden zine series
10. take a silly road trip
11. improve my photography skills
12. plant a beautiful front yard
13. bicycle more
14. refinish my second hand furniture
15. find a new and inspiring job
16. read the brothers karamozov
17. kiss someone new
18. learn to bake bread
19. complete online coursework
20. do something different
21. teach rupert a new trick
22. learn about clouds
23. perfect a balance pose
24. have a photoshoot
25. find my tattoo
26. create my foot photo collection
27. have a sexual adventure
28. host an indian dinner party
29. bring the muff back

goals: february|march

• yoga twice a week.
• early morning walks.
• save money.
• treat my body better.

first week goals

a rule of threes

• morning walk 3x this week
• lunch walk 3x this week
• weights 3x this week
• 3 jars of water per day

five things

five daily actions that would drastically improve my life.

• eat better
• read more 
• 45 minutes of exercise
• do 3 things around the house
• drink 2/3rds less

schmitness

this week i successfully took two long walks and was up at six once.
it hasn't been a good week.

its frustrating that when things start to slip i immediately want to curl up and hide. it makes sticking to any sort of good-habit forming plan very difficult. i have yet to find a method of combating this, the only one available seems to be try—try harder.

the weather looks as if it is finally turning around so i am hoping next week i can begin my bicycle bonanza. monday is my first official training run with four miles, i can already tell you its going to kill me.

but if i can push through all this, maybe i will have a habit worth having.

june 1st

• didn't run—or walk—all weekend 
• slept until 8am
• drove to work
• drank a soda

not off to a good start i'd say. however, tomorrow is another day.
(today i am just doggone tired.)

goals for june

1. get up at 6am
2. bicycle to work every day
3. start training for the marathon
4. find free amusement

portland marathon?

i am contemplating running the portland marathon this october.
my old running buddy who is now living in brooklyn suggested the idea.

and as intimidating as it is, i think i might go for it. i need something to seriously focus me—as well as distract me and take up my time.

and i need someone to be held accountable to.
eighteen weeks of training start june 7th. holy shit.

if i can do this, then i'll be pretty fucking amazing.

a good start

i am sitting on the other side of monday and i am feeling pretty good about it.

so far i have hit 5 of my seven primary goals in that i have a fridge full of fresh vegetables, there has been no soda or processed foods past my lips and i've kept gluten to a minimum. its tuesday and i am one for two on bicycling, with another three days of work ahead of me.

i actually felt lighter and better this morning, which is always a good way to start the day and is especially encouraging.

some realistic goals

i've decided to set some realistic goals for myself and one that is just a bit out there.

it boils down to this: i want to be healthy, i want to eat local, i want to live slow. i want to enjoy each day and find surprises in unlikely places. i want to eschew mindless materialism and focus on what i really want.

with that in mind i am setting the following goals for myself.

• walk every day for at least 30 minutes
• spend ≤ 20$ each week at the farmer's market for fresh, local, groceries
• strive for a gluten-light diet
• remove soda from my vocabulary
• reduce processed food and sugar intake
• bicycle to work 3x a week
• train to run a half-marathon next spring

that last one is big but i'm going to try for it.
three years ago i participated in a half-marathon and getting ready for that was great for me, i'd like to become a runner again and i think that is an excellent long-term goal to have ahead of me.

we start this saturday with a trip to the farmer's market.

becoming healthier

i want to be losing weight. and i'm not.
i am also barely exercising and eating right most of the time.

so i am not surprised by the lack of progress but i am disheartened by my inability to muster up the motivation and follow-through to create the changes i wish to see.

and i am tired of people telling me that its just a switch that you trip. i thought that i would get to the point where i hated myself enough that i would do something about it but instead i found a really lovely person to be in my life and remind me why i don't hate myself—because i have really never hated myself.

and i will confess that i wouldn't mind being back in the days when they just prescribed you speed dressed up like a fancy diet pill.

sadly, they wised up and so i am faced to handle this dilemma alone.
i am working on some goals that are reasonable. i'll report back.