schmitness

this week i successfully took two long walks and was up at six once.
it hasn't been a good week.

its frustrating that when things start to slip i immediately want to curl up and hide. it makes sticking to any sort of good-habit forming plan very difficult. i have yet to find a method of combating this, the only one available seems to be try—try harder.

the weather looks as if it is finally turning around so i am hoping next week i can begin my bicycle bonanza. monday is my first official training run with four miles, i can already tell you its going to kill me.

but if i can push through all this, maybe i will have a habit worth having.

after a long weekend

a three-day weekend did wonders for me.

my new favorite thing to do is ride my bicycle downtown to the farmer's market on saturday. we visit friends and sip on fresh made juice which i pick up whatever vegetables tickle my fancy. this saturday we capped it with a delicious breakfast downtown before hand and a break for a cold beer on the way home.

the entire event feels so indulgent. and yet so blissful and wholesome.

june 1st

• didn't run—or walk—all weekend 
• slept until 8am
• drove to work
• drank a soda

not off to a good start i'd say. however, tomorrow is another day.
(today i am just doggone tired.)

goals for june

1. get up at 6am
2. bicycle to work every day
3. start training for the marathon
4. find free amusement

portland marathon?

i am contemplating running the portland marathon this october.
my old running buddy who is now living in brooklyn suggested the idea.

and as intimidating as it is, i think i might go for it. i need something to seriously focus me—as well as distract me and take up my time.

and i need someone to be held accountable to.
eighteen weeks of training start june 7th. holy shit.

if i can do this, then i'll be pretty fucking amazing.

my first run

was short, difficult, but in a small way rewarding.

it was hard to suddenly understand how out of shape i am, and i was glad i'd turned down all the running buddy offers—i am certainly not at my best. but half way through my twenty minutes i could go farther before stopping, so there is hope.

i had none of the right equipment aside from my shoes and for most of the time i felt awkward. the awkwardness will just have to be accepted.

thursday i'll be back at it. i expect it will be a touch easier but not much. i suppose these particularly rough times will make my success all the more sweeter.

upping the stakes

tomorrow i am slated to start running.
its only for thirty minutes but i am still nervous.

i didn't succeed in walking before or after work at all last week. walking before work sounds like such an ideal way to start the day but the truth is i would rather cuddle with the mr. and have time to make coffee and look at my garden. and in the evenings i'd rather play in the garden and cuddle with the mr. and sleep.

obviously something has to change.

tonight i think i'll play in the garden after work and play with the mr. and then take the pooch for a nice long walk and then snuggle down into the evening—or into bed. walking as the day/night shift happens is always more invigorating.

and then tomorrow, running. and riding to work. it's all-in now. oh my.

a good start

i am sitting on the other side of monday and i am feeling pretty good about it.

so far i have hit 5 of my seven primary goals in that i have a fridge full of fresh vegetables, there has been no soda or processed foods past my lips and i've kept gluten to a minimum. its tuesday and i am one for two on bicycling, with another three days of work ahead of me.

i actually felt lighter and better this morning, which is always a good way to start the day and is especially encouraging.

some realistic goals

i've decided to set some realistic goals for myself and one that is just a bit out there.

it boils down to this: i want to be healthy, i want to eat local, i want to live slow. i want to enjoy each day and find surprises in unlikely places. i want to eschew mindless materialism and focus on what i really want.

with that in mind i am setting the following goals for myself.

• walk every day for at least 30 minutes
• spend ≤ 20$ each week at the farmer's market for fresh, local, groceries
• strive for a gluten-light diet
• remove soda from my vocabulary
• reduce processed food and sugar intake
• bicycle to work 3x a week
• train to run a half-marathon next spring

that last one is big but i'm going to try for it.
three years ago i participated in a half-marathon and getting ready for that was great for me, i'd like to become a runner again and i think that is an excellent long-term goal to have ahead of me.

we start this saturday with a trip to the farmer's market.

becoming healthier

i want to be losing weight. and i'm not.
i am also barely exercising and eating right most of the time.

so i am not surprised by the lack of progress but i am disheartened by my inability to muster up the motivation and follow-through to create the changes i wish to see.

and i am tired of people telling me that its just a switch that you trip. i thought that i would get to the point where i hated myself enough that i would do something about it but instead i found a really lovely person to be in my life and remind me why i don't hate myself—because i have really never hated myself.

and i will confess that i wouldn't mind being back in the days when they just prescribed you speed dressed up like a fancy diet pill.

sadly, they wised up and so i am faced to handle this dilemma alone.
i am working on some goals that are reasonable. i'll report back.